This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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