dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
