no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
