what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
