Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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