You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
why does every cop we meet know your name?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
