I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Can i not drive my cunt home
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
