Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
