Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
