so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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