im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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