Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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