Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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