Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Michael Bay diarrhea
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
