My room smells like vodka and shame
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
