Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
