Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
