I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
