I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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