speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just invented taco cereal.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
