the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They have beer where we have blood.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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