Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
