so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
