i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
