just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
