But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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