porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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