so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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