Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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