I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize