it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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