it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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