oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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