I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Let's get the cat blown out
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
