my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
