All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
