This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
