so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
