Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
