No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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