the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
