glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
