yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
