at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
