the new term for farting is butt boxing.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
