Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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