hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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