Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
