Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
