I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
