one two three fourrrrnication!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
