I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
