dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
