Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
