just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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