Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
