sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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