Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
