halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
