Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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